Jean MeriamThanksgiving: Less Stress for the Cook
October 2nd 2009 21:38
Stress is one of the number one problems in the world right now. Even our joyful holidays seem stress-filled, and Thanksgiving with its relaxed easy atmosphere of family, food and gratitude can get to you if you're not careful.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that most of us feel must be perfect and that can place a lot of pressure on you, the cook, to present perfect dishes to impress family and friends.
Magazine covers and television commercials sport smiling cooks carrying perfectly browned succulent turkeys on expensive platters to their smiling families and guests. A hard image to live up to. In many homes the cook is too weary to smile after completing an 8 hour shift in the kitchen and looking forward to another hour or more of cleaning and making room for the leftovers. The holidays can be less stressful. All it takes is the right mindset, a little organization and the fearless plea for help when you need it.
Stress Starts in the Mind
The number one cause of holiday stress is becoming overwhelmed by all the things we think we have to do and trying to do those things perfectly. Sometimes we add to our own stress by wondering why we seem to be the only one doing anything. Holiday seems to relate to everyone else in the house while you rush from fridge to stove gathering ingredients and watching pots and this can lead to resentment which only helps to create more stress. Now you have all that work to do and your kids' laziness is really starting to piss you off. See how the tension gains momentum.
Take a few moments, breathe deeply, and realise that if you never get to the three bean salad, no one will notice. Placing too high an expectation on the occasion, the people around you , and yourself will kill the happiness of the holiday. If you need help ask for it before you start feeling stressed and resentful or after you have calmed so your request doesn't sound like a shrill demand. What works even better is to make your requests known days in advance. Last year, I informed my daughters a week ahead that they were in charge of the potatoes and by the time the peeling and chopping needed done they were tired of listening to themselves complain too so the job got done quickly.
Create an Advanced Plan
To avoid some of the stress of the day start planning your meal at least a week early. Decide what you want to serve and what can be cooked in advanced. The more items you can check off your plan as completed before the feast day, the more smoothly the actual preparations will go. This is a good time to delegate some of the work to friends and family members who will be enjoying the holiday with you.They won't mind.... too much. As part of your overall plan, be sure to set a time to make room in the fridge for leftovers. That will take some of the stress out of the after dinner cleanup.
Keep It Simple
It is nice to offer a variety of plates during the holidays but when it feels like you need ten hands and four stoves to get everything completed and on the table in time for the feast, you may be overdoing it. Simple foods like sliced cheese, crackers, and easy no bake squares look just as nice on a buffet table and are usually the first items to run out. Stick with easy recipes you have used before and prepare them in advance. You really don't need three different salads and and four desserts. I know. I tried that one a few years ago.
Some of the foods we enjoy eating at thanksgiving can be prepared well in advance. I make buns the week before thanksgiving and hide them in the freezer. Take them out to thaw the day before your feast. If frozen as soon as they cool after baking they taste just as fresh as if they were just taken out of the oven. Most pies and desserts can be frozen ahead of time too, leaving you to simply defrost and serve on turkey day.
Don't forget about store bought items. If your pies leave a little to be desired, you don't have time to make homemade stuffing or your gravy always seems to be lacking something go ahead and buy it. With stuffings and gravy mixes flying off the shelves around the holidays, you're obviously not the only one.
Good Company Lowers Stress Levels
There are a couple of ways you can do this. One is to invite another family to join your for thanksgiving and have two cooks in the kitchen. You could also turn on your favorite television or radio show to keep you company. Anything that lifts your spirits will lessen your stress level. It's impossible to feel contented and stressed at the same time.
After Dinner Abandonment
After devouring a few platefuls of your delicious cooking your family is suddenly gone. A few of them are probably laying on the couch with buttons undone, making some sort of moaning sound.Looking sad probably won't help you now. You should have taken action before this.
What you could have done. Bought disposable dishes. This is not a very ecologically sound plan, but if it gives you time to relax with your family after supper, it is worth the guilt. I have been known to even take advantage of the disposable roasters at the grocery store when I needed a little extra time on my hands.
A method that seems to work well with my family is to fill the sink in advance. Before we eat I casually mention the sink is ready and that when everyone is finished they can wash their own plate and put it in the other side to rinse. Some of the work gets done and no one feels like they are being tortured. Your children can get stressed during the holidays too. They work themselves up with the thought of that giant mountain of dishes you always leave for them. Knowing they are only responsible for their own cups and plates leaves them a lot more relaxed.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that most of us feel must be perfect and that can place a lot of pressure on you, the cook, to present perfect dishes to impress family and friends.
Magazine covers and television commercials sport smiling cooks carrying perfectly browned succulent turkeys on expensive platters to their smiling families and guests. A hard image to live up to. In many homes the cook is too weary to smile after completing an 8 hour shift in the kitchen and looking forward to another hour or more of cleaning and making room for the leftovers. The holidays can be less stressful. All it takes is the right mindset, a little organization and the fearless plea for help when you need it.
Stress Starts in the Mind
The number one cause of holiday stress is becoming overwhelmed by all the things we think we have to do and trying to do those things perfectly. Sometimes we add to our own stress by wondering why we seem to be the only one doing anything. Holiday seems to relate to everyone else in the house while you rush from fridge to stove gathering ingredients and watching pots and this can lead to resentment which only helps to create more stress. Now you have all that work to do and your kids' laziness is really starting to piss you off. See how the tension gains momentum.
Take a few moments, breathe deeply, and realise that if you never get to the three bean salad, no one will notice. Placing too high an expectation on the occasion, the people around you , and yourself will kill the happiness of the holiday. If you need help ask for it before you start feeling stressed and resentful or after you have calmed so your request doesn't sound like a shrill demand. What works even better is to make your requests known days in advance. Last year, I informed my daughters a week ahead that they were in charge of the potatoes and by the time the peeling and chopping needed done they were tired of listening to themselves complain too so the job got done quickly.
Create an Advanced Plan
To avoid some of the stress of the day start planning your meal at least a week early. Decide what you want to serve and what can be cooked in advanced. The more items you can check off your plan as completed before the feast day, the more smoothly the actual preparations will go. This is a good time to delegate some of the work to friends and family members who will be enjoying the holiday with you.They won't mind.... too much. As part of your overall plan, be sure to set a time to make room in the fridge for leftovers. That will take some of the stress out of the after dinner cleanup.
Keep It Simple
It is nice to offer a variety of plates during the holidays but when it feels like you need ten hands and four stoves to get everything completed and on the table in time for the feast, you may be overdoing it. Simple foods like sliced cheese, crackers, and easy no bake squares look just as nice on a buffet table and are usually the first items to run out. Stick with easy recipes you have used before and prepare them in advance. You really don't need three different salads and and four desserts. I know. I tried that one a few years ago.
Some of the foods we enjoy eating at thanksgiving can be prepared well in advance. I make buns the week before thanksgiving and hide them in the freezer. Take them out to thaw the day before your feast. If frozen as soon as they cool after baking they taste just as fresh as if they were just taken out of the oven. Most pies and desserts can be frozen ahead of time too, leaving you to simply defrost and serve on turkey day.
Don't forget about store bought items. If your pies leave a little to be desired, you don't have time to make homemade stuffing or your gravy always seems to be lacking something go ahead and buy it. With stuffings and gravy mixes flying off the shelves around the holidays, you're obviously not the only one.
Good Company Lowers Stress Levels
There are a couple of ways you can do this. One is to invite another family to join your for thanksgiving and have two cooks in the kitchen. You could also turn on your favorite television or radio show to keep you company. Anything that lifts your spirits will lessen your stress level. It's impossible to feel contented and stressed at the same time.
After Dinner Abandonment
After devouring a few platefuls of your delicious cooking your family is suddenly gone. A few of them are probably laying on the couch with buttons undone, making some sort of moaning sound.Looking sad probably won't help you now. You should have taken action before this.
What you could have done. Bought disposable dishes. This is not a very ecologically sound plan, but if it gives you time to relax with your family after supper, it is worth the guilt. I have been known to even take advantage of the disposable roasters at the grocery store when I needed a little extra time on my hands.
A method that seems to work well with my family is to fill the sink in advance. Before we eat I casually mention the sink is ready and that when everyone is finished they can wash their own plate and put it in the other side to rinse. Some of the work gets done and no one feels like they are being tortured. Your children can get stressed during the holidays too. They work themselves up with the thought of that giant mountain of dishes you always leave for them. Knowing they are only responsible for their own cups and plates leaves them a lot more relaxed.
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Comment by Helen Randell
Rough Cooking
When we had christmas at our house last year we asked everyone to bring a side / vegetable dish. It was great to have everyone there but not have the burden of being the sole cook for a large group of people!